Knowing what women want in a man is only half of the puzzle. You also have to know how to give it to them. Luckily seduction is a quite simple and straight forward process, and it works more less the same in all parts of the world. Nevertheless, seduction is one of the most misunderstood topics in the world making it one of the most frustrating areas in almost all males‘ lives. The reason almost all males are terrible in attracting women is mostly because of bad socialization, which will be covered in a future part of the article series: “What women want in a man”. As for this part we will go deeply into confidence; what it truly is, why women are attracted to it, and how you can start being very confident with women no matter what situation you may be in.
Prepare for a paradigm shift – a new set of eyes to see the world – because finally you’ll be given some dating advice which actually does work. If you have followed any of the traditional dating advice, which is 99% of the advice given, you know that such advice does not work simply because it all comes from the wrong mindset of feeling to be inadequate, intimidated, or unworthy of beautiful women. Because of this traditional mindset males come up with all kind of “techniques”, “strategies”, and “pick up lines” to impress women. But what almost none of them know is that simply none of such nonsense is actually required. Women are not attracted to “cool pick up lines”. Neither are they attracted to free drinks, magic, a lighter, a funny story, driving on the back wheel of your motorcycle, big muscles, lot’s of money, a BMW, or all of it combined. What women are attracted to however, is a confident, charming, and responsible man, which all three are masculine traits.
Before we go deeply into the subject of confidence we should know why women want such a quality from a man in the first place. Confidence is a masculine trait, and it is only masculine traits which a male needs to adopt if he wants to be extremely attractive to women. Beautiful, feminine women want a real man; a man who is less vulnerable and more dominant than her, a man who is direct, decisive, confident, charming, and responsible. A man who does not feel inadequate of, unworthy or intimidated by any woman no matter how beautiful or intelligent she is. A man who leads her physically by taking her hand, who initiates the kiss, and who takes off her clothes in the bedroom. In other words; a man who is masculine.
The reason why women want a masculine man is beautifully explained in my article “How To Attract Women – Masculinity vs. Femininity“. Everything you need to know about masculinity can be found in that article. Therefore, before you read any further I want you to have read that article. You should first watch the video and then read the entire article. If you decide to continue reading this article series about what women want in a man without first having read the previously stated article you’re simply shooting yourself in the foot, because you won’t understand what attraction is truly based on.
Sure, you can still apply the stuff I’ll be covering here, but you won’t understand why you should be doing those things in the first place, hence you won’t be able to come up with your own methods of handling situations at the spot, which is always required if you want to be successful in today’s uncertain world. So from this point on I expect you to have read at least the entire article. Simply go here, read it, and come back. You’ll do yourself a big favor by doing so because you’ll truly understand why you have to adopt these masculine traits in the first place in order to attract beautiful, feminine women. You’ll be able to come up with your own methods and ways of handling women perfectly at the spot, rather than solely relying on what I tell you to do.
Now that you know that attraction is solely based on offering genetic value, which in our case is to be as masculine as possible, I will state the three characteristics a man has to adopt completely in his system – in order to be the man women truly want. Simply by understanding how to be masculine, how to avoid being feminine, and demonstrating the upcoming characteristics will improve your game probably over a hundred times – that is if you step out of your comfort zone and actually apply the stuff I’m teaching you.
Women want a confident man, especially a man who is more confident than them. Since females are more vulnerable than males they want a man they can look up to, a man who is less vulnerable. Therefore a man should be as confident as he can get because not only is confidence a vital skill in all of life’s endeavours, but it will make the seduction process much easier and enjoyable for both him and his woman.
Having confidence is inevitable if you want to be successful in any endeavour and especially when it comes to being successful with women, but does anyone know what confidence really means? If we look it up in the dictionary we can see that it states: “being
So if confidence is not the ability of being certain, then what is it? In my definition, confidence means: “The appearance of being certain by allowing uncertainty”. Nobody can ever be 100% sure of their future success, not even the most confident, successful people. What we can do however, is to accept the uncertainties we face and choose to proceed anyways. That is what you should do, and that is how you will appear confident, which is all that matters when you want to be attractive to women. You don’t actually have to be confident (although you definitely should be, and with experience this comes naturally), so if you are a beginner; as long as you appear confident you will be attractive to women. You just need to get out there and interact with the most beautiful women you can find, because the more experience you’ll have with such ladies the faster you’ll know exactly what they want – and how to give it to them.
That is how you build confidence if you have very little to start with – by faking it untill you make it. Simply appear confident by allowing uncertainty, and by doing so you get the necessary experience for natural confidence to follow. So the next time you see a beautiful girl and you don’t have the balls to approach her, simply understand that you just have to accept the uncertainty involved. The more women you approach, the more experience you’ll get, the more uncertainty you’ll be able to allow. Eventually you’ll be so good in allowing uncertainty that approaching a stunning girl successfully, telling her she’s incredibly sexy, and that you want to date her, while her parents are standing next to her – will be no problem to you at all.
Now that we both have a clear understanding of what confidence truly means, let’s get into some confident manners.
Dominant people trust themselves the most. They look the most certain. In every couple, only one of the two can be dominant, and one of them always is. Therefore, to be a dominant man automatically means to treat women as submissive and expect them to be submissive. This is inevitable. If you do not do so, you will act submissively yourself, and this behaviour is doomed to fail with women as it is feminine. However you should never be domineering or try to control people. It is only about putting your own interests first, to never be intimidated by any woman, and to be less vulnerable than them. Also, it’s unnecessary to be dominant with all women. It’s only necessary with the women you date, however if you want be attractive all the time, you should be dominant all the time.
An example of dominance is being selfish. Dominance requires you to see yourself as more important than others, thus you have to be selfish. Whenever you stop seeing selfishness like the traditional way society has taught us to see it, you’ll understand that selfishness is actually a good trait to have. Being selfish is choosing for yourself first. And trust me, in this world nobody else will choose for you, only you will, and you have to choose for yourself in order to grow and expand in life. By being selfish you can actually do more for others. It’s selfish people who can help others the most since they have first helped themselves become better. So be selfish! It’s a very good trait to have as long as you don’t harm others while being so, and it makes you more attractive in a woman’s eyes as it is dominant, masculine behaviour.
Another way of expressing your dominance is by having dominant body language. You want to appear as invulnerable and dominant as you can, and you do that by expanding your body and claiming a lot of space. Both are dominant traits and will make you look not only more attractive to women, but people in general will respect you more as you will appear more important than them. Feminine women make themselves small, like crossing their legs and keeping their elbows close to their bodies. They do this unconsciously because they are more vulnerable than men, thus they feel a need to protect their bodies. In other words; they are feminine. Since being masculine is the complete opposite of being feminine, a masculine man spreads his legs far apart and sticks his elbows whenever he sits down. He leans back, in a comfortable position, and expands his body as this shows confidence, invulnerability and dominance.
Make sure to never adopt feminine body language as some of the traditional dating advice actually tells you to copy a woman’s body language. This would be an instant turn off for a woman as you will be copying feminine body language, which only makes women more attractive. A good example is to think of gay guys. You can spot very gay looking guys from miles away simply because their body language is extremely feminine; they copy typical feminine body language to an extreme degree. The more feminine body language you demonstrate, the less attractive you’ll be to women. So expand!
Waiting to take any action untill you are certain enough is overrated if the feeling does not propel you into proper action. As confident people merely appear certain and certainty itself is irrelevant, a much better way to increase your confidence is to learn to tolerate uncertainty – to build courage. This means being able to cope with situations even when you lack certainty, a much more useful trait than can help you in all of life’s endeavours. Make it a habit to always acknowledge that you will always have some uncertainty, but then to approach your woman anyways. By understanding that you’ll always encounter uncertain situations in life, and by understanding that doing nothing will never get you the results you want you’ll simply accept the uncertainty you might encounter, but then ignore it rather than act on it. In other words you will be courageous.
One way to express courage is by simply approaching a beautiful woman directly. Women absolutely love it when men approach them directly, but almost no male truly has the balls to do so. No male is born with such fear though. It’s all because of bad societal programming which makes males believe they are not worthy of beautiful women, hence they act inadequate of them. Women absolutely hate when males act inadequate or unworthy of them, because they want to look up to a man, not down. Therefore, whenever you try to impress a woman, either by buying her a drink, showing her how much money you make, wine and dine her for weeks, or try to do some magic for her, she will soon enough sense it and know that you are trying to make up for something you lack. But if you would change your mindset you would understand that you don’t, and never will lack anything in the first place. All that is required is that you are sexually interested in her, and that you make that clear to her during the very first thing you say. You should therefore always approach a woman directly.
My definition of a direct approach is: Approaching a woman you want sexually and giving her a sincere compliment while stating your intentions clearly.
It is that simple. Males who feel inadequate of beautiful women always feel the need to approach them with an excuse; an indirect approach. They ask her for directions, what time the bus arrives, whether she’s new here, if she wants a drink, if she has a lighter, whether she wants to see a magic trick, or they talk to her friends first hoping they will “somehow” get to know her. If these guys simply would change their mindset to one of understanding that women do not need to be earned, neither to be impressed to get them in bed, they wouldn’t waste all of their valuable time with such foolish approaches. Approaching a woman indirectly makes the seduction process significantly longer, because in the end you will always have to make it clear that you’re sexually interested in her before you’ll be able to sleep with her. Also, an indirect approach demonstrates a lack of confidence, charm, and responsibility – while a direct approach demonstrates all of these qualities in her very first impression of you.
All that is required is that you want her, and that is reason enough to approach her. Once you do this correctly women will be absolutely amazed by your confidence. Sometimes a woman might even pretend to be upset by what you’ve just said, such as acting shocked and telling you she can’t believe what you’ve just said, while smiling at the same time.
For example: Whenever you approach a woman telling her you think she has a beautiful body, including her ass, and that that’s the reason you want to get to know her, she might act like I’ve just said. But that’s only because of her bad societal programming believing a man isn’t “supposed” to be so direct. Whenever this happens make sure to always keep your stake in the ground and to never apologize for what you’ve just said, since there’s absolutely nothing wrong with approaching a woman directly, and it’s actually the thing women crave the most, because over 99% of males do not even dare thinking about doing something bold like that. If you would take back what you’ve just said, or if you would apologize, you would appear as being not so confident after all, or to be feeling somehow inadequate of her, which are both turnoffs to her.
Once you have successfully approached a woman directly you should make sure to always stay congruent in your behaviour. That means to stay confident, charming and responsible. I will cover everything about charm and responsibility in the next parts of this article series about what women want in a man, but for now understand that whenever you start behaving like your old mindset again, that is the mindset of feeling to be inadequate, or unworthy of a woman, you will automatically behave unattractive again. Therefore you have to make sure to always stay congruent with your behaviour. For example: If you approached a woman directly and she responds great to it, don’t just wait for her to start talking about something, since that’s giving the responsibility to her. Instead, just keep making clear that you want her, by both flirting with her verbally and non verbally, and keep escalating as far as you can. Once you become really good at this you’ll eventually be able to just approach a woman directly, kiss her within minutes, even seconds, and take her home one or two hours later. You still have to make the moves though.
Escalating means to be advancing with your woman, particularly advancing sexually. This is an essential skill to have because men have to do all the advances with a woman. You have to approach her, you have to tell her to give you her phone nr, you have to set up a date, start kissing her, taking her clothes off, etc. A woman will most likely not initiate these advances because of the responsibility and social pressure involved. If you don’t understand why, don’t worry. I will go into those subjects in future parts of this article series about what women want in a man.
Most males have the traditional belief that you have to “wine and dine” a woman for decades before you can finally sleep with her. They basically don’t escalate untill they feel it’s time to “make their move”. They often date a woman for weeks without even trying to kiss her. What these males don’t know is that any woman can be taken home on the very first date if her man knows what he’s doing.
What I want you to do from now of on is to simply keep escalating untill you either get what you want, or until she tells you to stop. When you’ve just approached her directly, and she thanked you for your compliment, what do you do next? What should you do next? Would you just stand there and wait for her to ask you a question? The options are limitless, but a man who know’s what he’s doing simply escalates the situation immediately by for example; grabbing her hand, looking at it, and telling her how beautiful her nails are (if they are), and/or how soft her hand is (if it is). He can then grab both of her hands while looking her in her eyes and tell her how amazingly sexy she is, and how badly he would love her to be his new girlfriend, even though he just met her.
Once you do this correctly, that is with confidence, charm, and responsibility, a woman will simply be amazed at the wonderful guy she just met, and as long as you stay congruent with your behaviour she will treat you very well and with a lot of respect. That also means that when she has to reject you for whatever reason she might have, she will do it in a very polite way, and not like you have seen in hollywood movies where girls make fun of a male who dares to do such things, which is a good example of societal programming.
While escalating, pay close attention to how she is responding. Make sure to never escalate too quickly, like grabbing her ass when you did not kiss her yet. That would be groping her, and that will either get you slapped or put in jail. Start for instance by grabbing her hand, and complimenting her on it. If that goes well stroke her hair and tell her how beautiful it is. If that goes well put your hand on her thigh as you keep flirting with her, and if that goes well start kissing her. It’s really not difficult when you know what women truly want in a man. With experience all of this behaviour will simply come naturally, but you are the only one who can get that experience in the first place, so make sure you get it by stepping out of your comfort zone!
Some final thoughts
As you probably know by now women want a truly confident man. There are much more aspects to confidence, and I will cover all of them in one of The Superior Man’s upcoming seduction products. But for now I believe you should have a solid foundation for understanding what women want in a man, and why they want such qualities in the first place. By now you should also be able to apply the things I taught you, since I did not teach you any “techniques” or “pick up lines” which you’ll have to memorize, but rather a good, solid mental foundation to work with.
Males from all over the world come up with strategies, techniques, and pick up lines not because they work, but because they feel unworthy or inadequate of a woman in the first place. When you come from such a mindset you simply base everything on the wrong beliefs, and you come up with things you don’t even need to deal with in the first place, like making up for your “inadequacy” by having a cool pick up line. What they don’t understand is that because of their mindset of feeling to be inadequate of a woman, they deal hours and hours with problems which are not even there in the first place. If they would change their mindset and put all of that time into becoming more confident, charming, and responsible, they would actually improve very quickly, because those character traits are the only traits a man needs to have in order to be extremely successful with women. Their methods may work to some degree, but any success these males would have with such an indirect method they would get much faster with a direct approach, and they would successfully seduce much more women as well.
So that’s it on confidence! True confidence is not about preplanning; it is about being able to think on your own feet in real time and to be spontaneous in mouth, mind and movement. It is a general attitude, not a detailed plan of action, just like we were all the time naturally before we were influenced by bad socialization.
Make sure to read the next upcoming parts on what women want in a man as well, which are just as vital to understand as confidence is. Also, subscribe to our email newsletter to make sure you’ll receive our latest content immediately right in your email inbox!