Bad Social Conditioning And It’s Horrible Effects On Dating
Today we’ll be discussing a topic which is inevitable to ignore if you want to experience true success and independence in life, and that’s especially the case when it comes to successfully dating very beautiful women.
Social conditioning is the process through which we inherit the grand beliefs of our society, or in other words; it is what we learn every day from the people around us, our family, friends, co-workers, and even the TV, media, and books. Most of what we have learned through these channels is actually good, but if we take a look at the dating aspect of social conditioning we’ll come to find out that most of what we have learned is actually not accurate at all, and that as a matter of fact it almost always has been very counterproductive.
Is Social Conditioning Your Friend Or Enemy?
It’s actually good to learn to look carefully before crossing a street. It’s good to learn not to steal from others, and it’s good to learn not to hurt others when we go for what we want in life. All of these examples are deeply rooted in our behavior due to social conditioning.
But is it also good to learn, being a man, to subconsciously put beautiful women you want to date on a pedestal? Is it good to learn that before we may pursue beautiful girls we first need to work hard until we have received validation from the people around us? Is it good to learn that you can’t go to bed with someone you find extremely special, simply because it’s your first date together? And is it good to learn that you’ll need expensive designers clothes, sports cars, and the newest coolest gadgets in order to be attractive? I don’t think so. I’m actually certain it’s not, yet still all of these beliefs are the direct result of what society has thought us. Today I want to address this problem and show you why most of what you have learned regarding dating is all complete nonsense, and why you should for once and always completely avoid it.
Finish Your School, Get A High Paying Job, And Then You’ll Get Laid.
As I’ve just explained, social conditioning is the process through which we learn certain things from society about how we should live our life’s. A great example of traditional bad socialization regarding dating can be found in almost all Hollywood movies.
What is almost always the case when the main male character in a movie has saved the whole world from aliens, pirates, zombies, terrorists, or monsters? What does he get after he has won the race, tournament, challenge, league, war, or fight against all odds? What happens to him after he has proven to everyone how great of a hero he is?
He got the beautiful girl, most of the times the one who wasn’t particularly interested in him at the beginning of the movie. In the end, after he had saved the whole world from disaster, she suddenly became interested in him as if he had suddenly proven his “worth” to her.
This is the exact environment all men nowadays have grown up in. An environment in which we learn to first prove our worth to society before we may actually go out, behave confidently, and go directly after that which it is we want.
I’ll give you another example: Go to any corner of any street and ask the first guy you’ll encounter what you need if you want to attract very beautiful girls. He’ll most likely tell you that you’ll need lots of money. This is another beautiful example of bad social conditioning, and it’s a very powerful one too as almost every guy in the world believes this is actually the case. Even women themselves claim to believe they can only fall for a successful guy, especially successful women themselves.
This is, however, everything but the truth as you’ll find out in just a minute.
Make Sure To Play Her A Custom Made Guitar Song, Otherwise She Won’t Fall For You.
What did your parents thought you about girls when you grew up being a little boy? Didn’t they tell you that you should be the one who has to pay the check on your first date? Didn’t they tell you that you have to be the one who brings flowers? Didn’t they tell you that you need a high paying job in order to find yourself a beautiful girlfriend later? And didn’t you always wonder as a little boy why we MEN should be the ones doing all of this? I know I did…
If so, did you know that women in general, nor beautiful girls are NOT attracted to any of the examples above?
“How come then that my parents thought me this, Sebastian?” Well obviously, your parents have been influenced by bad social conditioning just as much as you have been, therefore they too have no clue why men should pursue women in this fashion. They’ll answer such a question with statements like: “That’s what men are supposed to do!” or “Women need to be treated with a lot of respect!” without actually digging deeper into the subject and actually questioning their own ridiculous statements.
Women are not attracted to any of the things we have been talking about so far, yet since we all have been raised with the idea that they actually ARE attracted to such things, it becomes extremely difficult to get rid of such idea’s, simply because it has been programmed in our minds since the very first day we came to visit earth.
However, there’s still an easy way to get rid of all these nonsense beliefs, and we do that by simply replacing these ridiculous beliefs with beliefs about women and dating which actually are true, or at least significantly closer to the truth.
If you are thinking: “Sebastian may be right, but still, a beautiful, sexy woman would never fall for me if I’d be broke, or if I would take her to Mac Donald’s for our first date – then you still have it completely wrong.
Don’t worry, I don’t blame you for that. It’s extremely difficult to get rid of these beliefs if your mindset is not correct to begin with. Let’s change that all now.
You Don’t Have An Expensive Sports Car? Oh That’s Okay, It’s The Year 1000 BC Anyways…
Think about a few thousand years ago, when there where no such idea’s as: “first dates”, money, designers clothes, perfume, hair gel, professions, educations, IQ tests, sports cars, comedians, magicians, doctors, pilots, and professional athlete’s.
Thousands of years ago there were no men with ANY of these qualities, but somehow they still got laid every single day. As a matter of fact, I’m certain actually MORE guys got laid back then than that they do right now, simply because believing that the above examples DO make you more attractive automatically diminishes the self-esteem of every guy who doesn’t own these qualities, and self-esteem is what women actually really like in men. Not all that unnatural nonsense.
That also explains why bad social conditioning is very counterproductive. Not only are guys all over the world being thought very wrong things about seduction, attraction, and dating, but it actually makes them significantly less attractive because it indirectly makes them believe they themselves are not good enough for beautiful girls; thus, their entire self-esteem takes a huge hit, and when you lose self-esteem you automatically also lose confidence.
Think about it. If you have read my post about masculinity and femininity you know exactly what women are naturally attracted to, why that is so, and you’ll know exactly that their attraction for you has everything to do with you and your behavior, and not with unnatural, man made things like the examples I gave you above. If you haven’t read it yet, don’t waste another second of your precious dating life and read it now.
“Don’t compliment her, you’ll lower your value”
Have you ever read such dating advice? How about “Do your best to make her laugh” or “You need a good pick up line!”
If so, understand that this too is all based on the wrong mindset – the mindset of believing you need to earn females. I’ll tackle every one of these for you.
“Don’t compliment her (appearance), you’ll lower your value.”
This is truly an entertaining example simply because of the conviction some PUA’s have that this might actually work. They think this works because if you don’t compliment a woman on her appearance, you did not make it 100% clear that you are attracted to her; hence, the woman won’t know for sure whether you’re attracted to her and thus you keep your “value”.
Which value do we exactly keep? Oh right, they themselves can’t explain that either. They simply believe that this is the way it should be done.
Why this belief is completely false.
First of all, you only lower your “value” (attractiveness) in a sexy woman’s eyes only and ONLY if you demonstrate a lack of masculinity. If you don’t know why that is, you need to read the article I just recommended you to read.
Second, women actually love to be complimented at, especially if the compliment comes from a very attractive, masculine man. Sure, women may complain about needy guys who compliment them in an unattractive way, but that’s simply because of HOW these guys deliver their compliments, not because of the compliments them self. You can deliver your compliment very confidently, with piercing eye contact and a sly smile, or you can deliver it while avoiding eye contact, acting in a state of awe, and acting all nervous. Think about that.
Why do women love to be complimented at? Because it is charming to do. I’ll talk more about charm and the reasons why it works in an upcoming article of the series: “What women want in a man”.
Third, this belief is false simply because of it’s roots. It comes from social conditioning, the idea has been invented by men who have felt themselves to be unworthy or inadequate for beautiful girls (due to the social brainwashing they’ve received), therefore they have come up with all kind of ways to appear “good enough”, and one of those ways they came up with is to not compliment a beautiful girl until after you’ve had sex with her.
I actually had a whole discussion about this issue on another blog. This guy calls himself Blackdragon, has a great blog overall and seems to pretty much know what he talks about, but is simply dead wrong with his advice on this topic. It’s hilarious to read it as I have stated exactly why what he says is nonsense, yet still he doesn’t want to let go of this belief. You can find that article here.
“Do your best to make her laugh”
This is another classical one. Most guys believe they just have to be funny and that being funny will automatically make them attractive. Completely wrong, of course.
Why would you want to make a woman laugh? If you’re a comedian I can understand, but I’m asking it from a dating perspective. Do you think that making women laugh will get you them into bed any faster? Not at all.
But wait a second… Didn’t that last girl I dated just told me that she want’s a guy with lots of humor? She did! See, what Sebastian is saying is BS after all!
Not that fast, big boy. Women CLAIM to say they want a man with lots humor, while in reality they actually find men funny they already DEEM attractive. This is what women do all the time as they tend to link effects to the wrong causes. They think that they like a man because he is funny, while in reality they already liked him due to other behavior. Because they already like him they automatically find him funny and laugh and giggle at almost everything he has to say. You must have noticed this yourself when you saw a girl who tended to really like a guy, laughed and giggled at almost everything he said, yet nothing he said was actually funny.
So why does humor work so well? Because it makes a woman feel very comfortable if you make her laugh enough. Yes, women indeed go faster to bed with you when you make them feel very comfortable, but you don’t need humor at all to make women feel comfortable. All you actually need for that is to be very comfortable yourself. People will naturally follow your state of mind as all emotions are contagious.
Why then do men believe you have to make women laugh? Simply because women say they want a funny man all the time, plus when someone is funny it brings a positive ambiance in the surroundings. That of course brings you much more success overall, not just with dating.
The end conclusion: If you already have humor, great, use it. If you don’t, then please don’t spend any time on trying to obtain it for the sake of getting girls. Good humor comes naturally anyways whenever you feel comfortable and relaxed yourself, so focus on being comfortable, chill, and relaxed, and the rest will follow naturally.
“You need a good pickup line to impress her!”
Ah yes, the well known pick up line. Pick up lines are just another invention for a man made problem which doesn’t really exist in the first place.
Before you read any further, I want you to take a minute and think to yourself why guys would actually start using pick up lines in the first place. Seriously, think about it. Why would they possibly come up with pick up lines?
Well, if you so far understood most of what I’ve said you should be able to figure it out. Ready?
It’s simply because – again due to social conditioning – men feel very unworthy or inadequate for beautiful girls! What should you do if you are unworthy of someone yet you still want something from that person? You of course need an excuse to start talking to that person, right?!
That’s exactly the point. It’s just another excuse to approach women because you can’t just approach them directly by telling them you are sexually attracted to them. Why? Because they would immediately cut off your balls right on the spot! Right..?
Some Final thoughts…
Social conditioning is such a huge topic that it’s more less impossible for me to cover it all in a single, readable article. For now I’ll leave it at this.
In the next article I’ll start covering what social conditioning has done to the mindsets of women, how it is hindering not only their sexual desires significantly, but yours as well, and how to effectively bypass it. This will truly be a game changer for you.
For now, share with us the realizations you made from this article by leaving a comment below. I’m very curious to your opinion about what I just wrote!
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March 5, 2016 - 5:05 pm -
Hi there, I have stumbled upon this site while looking for social conditioning and how to get out of it. The points discussed by you seems interesting. I also liked your article on masculinity and faminity. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom to the mankind