If you don’t know how to talk to girls, what to say, and when to say it; there’s something horribly wrong with your mindset. You see, thoughts such as “what to say to a girl” come from a mindset of somehow feeling to be inadequate, or unworthy of beautiful girls. If you would feel completely equal to them you wouldn’t come up with such a question in the first place. You would simply approach them, and talk to them like you do to anyone else such as your family, friends, co-workers, etc.
Your mindset is where everything starts. It is where all your beliefs about yourself, and the world around you, are stored. Because of your beliefs you act in a particular way. Those beliefs may not be true, and you would therefore take the wrong kind of action, but if you simply believe in them you will act according to them, and if those beliefs are wrong to begin with you may try to work with all the symptoms they bring, such as not knowing how to talk to girls, trying to impress them, indirectly approaching them etc. But you will never treat the real cause, which is your mindset, or in other words; your beliefs about how girls think, what they sexually want, and how to give it to them.
If you would simply change your beliefs about what girls want, and how to give it to them, you wouldn’t have to deal with issues such as not knowing what to say – at all, and since that’s by far the most effective way to treat the problem, we’ll focus on doing just that.
Lean back and relax because this time you won’t have to remember any ridiculous “pick up lines” or “techniques” to impress girls when talking to them. You will be learning a solid foundation – a mindset – to work with. After going through today’s article you’ll simply understand why asking “how to talk to girls” is a ridiculous question to begin with. You’ll also probably never have to think about what to say to girls again neither, since you also don’t have to think about that when you’re talking to your friends or family. That’s exactly the way you’ll be talking to girls; naturally. There will only be a slight difference in delivering your message, but more on that later.
I mean, would you ever think about how to talk to your brother, sister, mother, or co-worker? Of course you wouldn’t, because you know that there’s simply no need to think of such a ridiculous question. You just talk to them and the conversation flows naturally, without any conscious thought to it. That’s exactly the kind of mindset you need to adopt when talking to beautiful girls. There’s absolutely no need at all to start thinking about what to say when you see a beautiful girl you want to approach. There’s only one simple difference you need to have in your behavior when you talk to a girl you’d like to date, and that is to flirt with her. If you are still worrying about what to say to her, because you otherwise think she will reject you, it means you either somehow feel inadequate or unworthy of her, or you need to work on your confidence.
First of all, when you approach a lot of beautiful girls rejection is inevitable. You will always encounter lesbians, girls with boyfriends, or just lame, weird girls. However, if you know what you’re doing and you approach a woman correctly, you’d never be rejected the way you think you would. It would be something along the lines of: “Ah thanks for your compliment, but I have a boyfriend :-)”.
Second, what you say simply won’t matter that much. I actually always approach a beautiful woman I’d like to date by saying: “Hey!”. When she then reciprocates, I follow up with a sincere compliment, and tell her exactly why I approached her.
You know, girls won’t remember exactly what you’ve told them after the conversation is over, but they do always remember exactly how you made them feel. Therefore, it’s not so much about what you say, but how you say it. You can say “hi“, or give a compliment, in a million different ways.
And third, she is just beautiful, and maybe a cool, intelligent girl, but she is not some kind of holy goddess which you must work very hard for.
How can her beauty intimidate you? You are both human beings with a normal brain, a normal heart, head, legs, arms, more less everything. The only difference is that you find her (very) attractive. That’s completely fine, but why does that make you feel nervous or intimidated?
It has everything to do with your social conditioning, which is covered in this article. Read it if your want to understand how you have been brainwashed by media, ads, school, your parents, and others – to believe that beautiful girls need to be earned. You believe that to get a beautiful girl in your bed, you first need to bring her value, a lot of value, and then hope she will like it enough to be yours. That is true, but it is not the value you think it is.
Women are not attracted to anything man-made. This includes money, university degrees, sport cars, expensive gadgets, designer clothes, $10K watches, or tattoo’s. Just go back thousands of years ago and see if we had any of those things. We didn’t, but men where still getting laid.
The only value you should be offering women is genetic value, since that’s the only thing women are sexually attracted to. And luckily, the genetic value for a man has very little to do with his looks, so you don’t have to worry about that either.
It does has everything to do with your behaviour. If you did not do so, check out “How to attract women – Masculinity vs. Femininity“. You will understand exactly what I mean with genetic value, and you’ll instantly be much more attractive to women by just reading that article.
The Only Thing You Need To Understand
If there’s just one thing you need to understand from this article, it is that girls do not need to be earned, or impressed. You think they have to, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this article. It is the traditional mindset which almost every guy has due to our mass socialization. But it’s simply just not the case! Men and women are equal to each other,although because of socialization we might think we are not. Men all over the world postpone their instincts for seducing beautiful girls and waste years and years of time, often a lifetime, going to school, getting degrees, working and making money, only because they believe that once they have achieved big things they may finally pursue their dream girl.
This is what most guys believe simply because of their mindset of believing that girls need to be earned. Women are absolutely no more attracted to doctors, airline pilots, business men, or whatever. If they say so it is only because these men often are very confident, and that’s what the women like about them, not their education or profession.
If I only think of the idea that women need to be earned, it just sounds ridiculous in my ears! You really don’t need anything external to get beautiful girls. That includes all the examples I stated above and also having impressing things to say. There is only one thing women want from a man, and that is masculine behaviour. If you would only focus on getting more masculine, you would get results you right now cannot even dream about. Again, read: “How to attract women – Masculinity vs. Femininity“. It will make things very clear for you.
So How To Actually Talk To Girls?
Now you know that you can simply approach a beautiful girl with just saying: “hi”, and then having a natural conversation with her, let’s look at how your conversation must be different from a normal day to day conversation in order to seduce her. There’s really not much to it, it’s actually quite simple. All you have to do is talk with her just like you would talk to anyone else, but in a very flirtatious way.
That’s all that needs to be different when you approach a girl you want to date. You need to talk to her, and do it in a flirtatious way. That includes strong eye contact, a constant sly smile, touching her, teasing her, and making your intentions of approaching her very clear. That’s all there is to it!
This can be an example of how I would approach a beautiful girl:
Me: (Sees a beautiful girl walking in the opposite direction of him)
Me: (Walks in a straight line towards her, with a sly smile and strong eye contact)
When she sees me, and knows I’m going to talk to her, I tell her:
At this point it is very important that you state your intentions immediately, and not give her any excuse for why you approached her.
Me: “I just wanted to say hello because I saw you walking in front of me and I think you’re incredibly sexy, I want to get to know you. Hi, I’m Sebastian”
I just gave her a sincere compliment, and I stated my intentions very clearly.
Girl: “I am Kate. But are you serious? You just do that like that? Haha”
Me: “Nice to meet you Kate. Well yeah, there’s not really another way of getting to know you and I really want to, because you’re incredibly beautiful!”
Girl: “Haha that’s cute, thanks!”
Me: “You’re welcome. So what are you going to do now, got time for a drink?”
Instant dates are always the best. If it’s not possible go for her number.
Girl: “Actually I have to go my parents now… We’re having dinner.”
Me: “That’s ok. Give me your phone number and I’ll give you a call later so we can get to know each other.”
Girl: “Ehm, I’m not sure… I don’t even know you!”
What she’s saying here is that she doesn’t trust me enough yet. I could be a player, or worse, a psycho!
Me: “That’s exactly the reason why I want to have your phone number! Kate, I want to get to know you. You’re absolutely gorgeous and I think we would make an awesome couple.”
Girl: “Omg you are so direct! I like it, but I still don’t know.. I’m not that easy you know.
Me: “Kate, I know you’re not easy. Of course you wouldn’t give your phone number to any stranger just like that, but what we have here is different. Can’t you see that? We are simply made for each other!”
Simply make her more comfortable by keeping complimenting her, and take all the responsibility involved by saying you understand she’s not easy.
Me: “Just give me your phone number and I’ll call you later. Trust me, you won’t regret it.”
Girl: “Well okay… It’s XXX-XXX-XXX”
Me: “Sweet! Can’t wait to get to know you better, and kiss you.”
You can actually be this direct if you have enough confidence and never apologize for, or take back what you’ve just said.
Girl: “Haha stop it! You make me shy…”
Me: “That’s ok, I like shy girls. Alright have fun with your parents, I’ll give you a call later today” (Gives her a hug to say goodbye)
Girl: “Ok! Thanks, you have a great day!”
That’s how simple it is! This is actually the kind of conversations I have all the time with girls. Very simple and easy, and flirtatious. Remember that you should be naturally smiling throughout the whole interaction, while giving her strong eye contact. There’s really not anything you would have to memorize from the example above, because once you have the correct mindset of not having to impress any girl, you can simply have a natural conversation without having to worry about saying something wrong.
The only difference of this conversation and a normal day to day one is that you constantly need to be making strong eye contact, especially when you say something bold or are flirting with her, and that you constantly need to be smiling. Not a fake smile, but a genuine, sly smile. This should come naturally because you automatically smile when you talk with a beautiful girl, because it makes you happy and feel good to be with such women. If you’re not naturally smiling you’re simply not approaching the right girls, or your mindset is messed up. Work on it!
Very nice… But where does one find the balls to do such an approach?
The inevitable question, because it’s a fact that many guys’ confidence is extremely low. This is all because of the mass socialization they’ve been exposed to, and not because they are born that way. We are all born with lot’s of confidence. However, there are many guys who believe they cannot approach a woman like the example above unless they are able to impress her, to be successful somehow. They believe this because that’s how they have been raised to believe, on an unconscious level. They believe they are inadequate or unworthy of beautiful women; thus, they are intimidated by them.
A good way to start removing these limitations is by simply becoming more confident, and that’s why I will refer you to my post on: “What women want in a man – Part 1: Confidence“. You will get a very clear picture on what confidence really is, and how you can become more confident this very second by simply changing your mindset. I highly recommend you to read that article, so that you too actually get the balls necessary to do such bold things with women – the things I just talked about.
So that’s how you talk to girls you want to date! If you have any suggestions or experiences you’d like to share, feel free to do so! We need more insights because any mindset is always a limited mindset. Together we can do so much more.